Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church?

For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a Church event. For this reason, the Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.

Why should a wedding between two Catholics usually be a Mass? When is it appropriate not to celebrate a Mass?

A wedding between two Catholics should usually be a Mass because the Sacrament of Matrimony reflects the endless love between Christ and his bride, the Church. In the Eucharist, Christ gives himself body, blood, soul, and divinity to his bride; we become "one flesh" with him every time we receive his Body in Holy Communion! This is why St. John Paul II called the Eucharist "the Sacrament of the bridegroom and the bride" (Mulieris Dignitatem n. 26).

It is appropriate not to celebrate a Mass when there are pastoral reasons not to. For example, if most of the family is not Catholic and might have difficulty participating in the Mass. However, these cases should be carefully discerned with the priest who is guiding the couple in their marriage preparation.

Can favorite songs be sung or played, even if they do not have Christian words?

Only sacred music, that is, music with sacred words and a sacred sound, may be used in the liturgy. Popular songs should not be used, even "Christian pop," which does not have the qualities of sacred music.

It is difficult for us to imagine how unfathomably beautiful is the love between Christ and his Church which is imaged in human marriage. Rather than using secular love songs in a sacred ceremony which celebrates this great mystery, we should use sacred songs which express the deepest reality of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Save your favorite secular or Christian pop songs for the reception!

Can a unity candle be lighted as part of the ceremony?

Lighting a unity candle is a secular practice and recent origin that has never been part of the Catholic Celebration of Matrimony. While is not prohibited, it is better done at the reception since the Celebration of Matrimony already has abundant symbols of unity. If the unity candle is used, the couple should light their individual candles from the paschal candle, the individual candles should not be extinguished, and the candle should not be placed on the altar. "Unity sands" should not be used, as sand has no Christian symbolism.

Can a consecration of our marriage to the Blessed Virgin Mary be part of the ceremony?

The custom of consecration one's marriage to the Blessed Virgin Mary (often ritualized by setting a bouquet of flowers before her statue as part of the ceremony) is a more recent custom beginning in the 1800's. It is not prohibited, but it is also not a proper part of the Celebration of Matrimony. Rather, it is a devotional practice that could be likened to praying a "Hail Mary" after the intercessions at Mass in order to honor Mary in a special way. It is good to realize that though the practice has recently become quite popular, it is not necessarily the case that in order to have a "good Catholic wedding" one must include such a consecration, which is extra-liturgical.

If this consecration is done, a good place for it in the wedding liturgy would be at the end of the Celebration of Matrimony, after the Blessing and Giving of rings. A song is often sung or played during this devotional rite.

Can a slideshow of pictures be shown during the liturgy?

A slideshow of pictures or display of memorabilia is better displayed at the wedding reception. The liturgy is a special time and place in which we "enter in" to the worship of heaven in a mystical and profound way. The reception, on the other hand, is the time to rejoice with family and friends in recalling the memories and stories they share with the couple. 

Are weddings permitted on Sundays or during Lent?

Church law allows weddings to be held during most days of the year, except the Triduum. However, many parishes do not schedule weddings on Sundays because of the conflict with regularly scheduled Masses and other parish activities. In addition, many parishes do not allow weddings during Lent, a season of penance.